The End of The Beginning

I've come to the end of Amir and Hassan's childhood, where Ali and Hassan leave Kabul to go to Hazarajat. The last forty pages I've read continuously and could not stop, and I even cried reading some of them. What Amir has done is so terrible, but it doesn't just stop there. Amir continues his ruthless ways by outcasting Hassan, refusing to play with him, speaking to him rudely and purposely avoiding him. The one thing that broke my heart was at Amir's birthday party when Assef showed up with his parents and a gift for Amir. His fake manners and charming attitude disgusted me and I found myself emotionally torn up. Assef tries to seem like a well-mannered gentleman to Baba and Amir sees right through it. Amir's emotions seem so real and so upsetting that I felt like I was Amir. At the party, Hassan is supposed to be serving drinks to all the guests. Amir sees Hassan serving drinks to Assef and his friends and feels so ashamed. There are a couple quotes that stand out to me around this time in the novel.

"Everywhere I turned, I saw signs of his loyalty, his goddamn unwavering loyalty." (94)

"Hassan's not going anywhere. He's staying right here with us, where he belongs." (95)

"My stomach was turning at the sight of my father bonding with Assef." (102)

"In one of those brief bursts of light, I saw something I'll never forget: hassan serving drinks to Assef and Wali from a silver platter. The light winked out, a hiss and a crackle, then another flicker of orange light: Assef grinning, kneading Hassan in the chest with a knuckle." (106)

"Either way, this much had become clear: One of us had to go." (108)

"Hassan knew. He knew I'd seen everything in that alley, that I'd stood there and done nothing. he knew I had betrayed him and yet he was rescuing me once again..." (111)

"I watched Baba's car pull away from the curb, taking with it the person whose first spoken word had been my name." (115)

Each of these quotes had a significant meaning to me as I read this last part of Amir and Hassan's childhood. It makes me sick how Amir is acting, my stomach turned as I read what he had done to Hassan. Breaks my heart.