Check-In Two: Guilt

I'm through one third of the book now, and I couldn't be more engaged and excited to read more. I've seen the movie and thought that it was fantastic, but it's true what they say about the book - it really is so much better. I had forgotten certain elements and details that may or may not have been in the movie, but that's what makes the book so much better; you know every detail, every thought, and every feeling of the protagonist. It includes small, seemingly pointless (but we know better) details of Amir's life, whether it be events, thoughts, feelings or actions. The reader is emotionally attached to the characters in the book, more so than in the movie interpretation.

I feel like I have a bond with Hassan because I can relate to him in so many ways, and naturally the reader feels compassion and sympathy for him. I, like Hassan, have gone through abandonment and betrayal and know how terrible he must feel. Although I was never in a servant position like he is, I have had friends turn their backs on me when I needed them the most, just like how Hassan needed Amir in that alleyway. Friends have picked sides during fights, left me hanging when I needed someone to talk to, and in some cases, attempted to turn the whole world against me. In some ways, I feel like I'm still searching for that one best friend that every kid/youth has growing up that they remember forever. Hassan is close to my heart for that reason and I have to keep reading because I forget what happens to him in this part of the novel when I watched the movie. It's terrible that Hassan has to live with that memory for the rest of his life.

On the other hand, I have recognized a couple quests emerging within the novel so far. One being Amir's quest for his father's ultimate love, affection and approval. Amir knows that his father will never get over the fact that Ali and Hassan left with no explanation and has a hunch that it was Amir's fault. Throughout the novel there are constant references to Amir's frustration and sadness that his father doesn't love him the way he thinks he's supposed to (used in previous posts). Even as an 18-year-old travelling to Pakistan with his father, Amir feels like he lets his father down.

"Baba grumbled something under his breath. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, but suddenly I was salivating, the back of my throat tasting bile. I turned around, lifted the tarpaulin, and threw up over the side of the moving truck. Behind me, Baba was apologizing to the other passengers. As if car sickness was a crime. As if you weren't supposed to get sick when you were eighteen." (117)

Amir constantly feels not good enough for his father and feels like whatever he does is a disappointment to him. Except for when Amir won the kite-fighting tournament. The praise and attention would never be the same.

Another quest taking place is one similar to Atonement. I've found that Amir and Briony are very similar characters and have the same conflicts within each text/movie. They each made a bad decision that they thought would only effect themselves, but ended up effecting everyone around them.

Briony told a lie that she didn't have to tell. She didn't have evidence - never saw who the "rapist" was, but in the end, she got the wrong man in jail.

Amir could have stopped the rape of his best friend, but instead chose to watch and run away.

Both of these decisions had considerable effects on each of the people betrayed - Robbie and Hassan.

In Atonement, Briony didn't realize that Robbie would be put behind bars and it would be all her fault that her sister Cecelia lost her true love to a lie.

In The Kite Runner, Amir didn't realize that it would be so hard to live with Hassan after he watched him get raped by the boys in the alleyway. Ali and Hassan end up leaving Baba and Amir's home because it is so hard for Hassan to live there anymore; his embarrassment, shame, disappointment in Amir, and discomfort within the home. This effects everyone in the house, even the boys parents, Ali and Baba.

Now, Briony and Amir both have to live with what they've done and attempt to move on with their lives, despite their terrible mistakes as children.

In Atonement, Briony goes to school to become a nurse. The symbolism of Briony going into nursing is that she is trying to make other lives right, because she knows that she ruined other ones.

On the other hand, in The Kite Runner, Amir tries to run away from his problems in the beginning. He does not begin to try to cope with his guilt. Instead, he pushes it aside and hopes that it will never escape the back of his mind again.

And in the end, when the protagonists are ready to confront their guilt, it appears that it is too late.

Briony wanted to apologize to Cecelia and Robbie, but when she went to their home she found out that they had died.

Amir has the same painful discovery when he realizes that Hassan died during the Revolution in Afghanistan, and that he never did get the chance to leave the country to safety; but maybe he could of if Ali and Hassan stilled lived with them, like they should have.

These works have many similarities. It's interesting comparing them and the same "confronting guilt" theme that they both have.

My overall impression of the book has been great. To be honest there haven't been a lot of books that I haven't liked reading in school, the teachers seem to always pick great ones for us to read (except The Chrysalids). As I have said before, I've enjoyed the relationship that the reader gets to make with the characters because of the vivd details in the book. I've really liked the story-line and plot so far as well, although I've only really read Amir and Hassan's childhood and the beginning of the Russians coming into Afghanistan. Amir and Hassan as children was great to read about, because it brought up old memories of my childhood as well. I couldn't be any happier with my book choice.

Listening to: "The Cave" by Mumford & Sons, "We Used To Wait" by Arcade Fire