Annotations

"Rahim Khan had wanted me to stay with him a few more days, to plan more thoroughly. But I knew I had to leave as soon as possible. I was afraid I'd change my mind. I was afraid I'd deliberate, ruminate, agonize, rationalize, and talk myself into not going. I was afraid the appeal of my life in America would draw me back, that I would wade back into that great, big river and let myself forget, let the things I had learned these last few days sink to the bottom. I was afraid that I'd let the waters carry me away from what I had to do. From Hassan. From the past that had come calling. And from this one last chance at redemption." - Amir (243)

photo annotation:

http://emdsp.glogster.com/the-kite-runner-amir-sohrab/

Annotations

"Hassan and I fed from the same breasts. We took our first steps on the same lawn in the same yard. And, under the same roof, we spoke our first words.

Mine was Baba.

His was Amir. My name.

Looking back on it now, I think the foundation for what happened in the winter of 1975 - and all that followed - was already laid in those first words." - Amir (12)

photo annotation:

http://emdsp.glogster.com/the-kite-runner/

Movie Reflection

It has been a long time since I've read a book with a movie adaptation of it. When I was little, I read books like Charlotte's Web and Harry Potter, which have a movie adaptation. I guess this time it just wasn't the same as when I was little. Reading The Kite Runner, there was so much emotion, suffering and the detail within the book and it was incredible. I cried a number of times reading the novel, because each character's emotions feel so real. Watching the movie, I had a different experience. I found myself criticizing each part saying, "Hey, they skipped a scene," or "That part was so much better in text." I never thought I would ever say this, but the book really is one hundred times better than the movie.

In the movie, I loved the character of Hassan, just like I loved him in the novel. They picked a cute, little boy to play him, and he was great. Although, in the movie, they left out the fact that Hassan had a cleft lip. And instead of Baba taking Hassan to get surgery for his birthday, Baba bought him a kite. I think that took away some of the significance of Baba being Hassan's father, and all the sentimental things he did for him. I thought that was a large part of their father-son relationship in the novel.

Once Amir rescues Sohrab, they have difficulty getting him out of the country without a visa in the novel, but in the movie, it was never addressed and Amir brings him home with no difficulty. I guess that's the "Hollywood" way of doing things, sometimes they leave out some of the reality. Would Sohrab have a visa? Probably not, which makes the novel so much more detailed, realistic and believable.

In the movie, I don't think Soraya was portrayed the same way. In the novel, Soraya helps Baba much more than it was shown in the movie. She takes care of him completely and does everything for him.

"Soraya dedicated herself to taking care of my father. She made his toast and tea in the morning, and helped him in and out of bed. She gave him his pain pills, washed his clothes, read him the international section of the newspaper every afternoon. She cooked his favourite dish...and took him out every day for a brief walk around the block." (181)

This makes Soraya seem more appealing to the reader, because she is such a good wife, and we love her for taking care of Baba. There is also another difference with Soraya. In the novel, Amir got on the phone with Soraya and told her everything about Hassan, even when they were kids. However, in the movie, it was never mentioned what exactly he told her on the phone, so we don't know what was said. Because she knows everything Amir did in the novel, and doesn't judge him, or even ask any questions, we love her even more for it.

The movie was not in English the entire time, in fact most of it was in subtitles because they were speaking Farsi. This did not bother me, because it makes the movie more realistic, like the novel. Most children, or even people, in Afghanistan probably don't know how to speak English.

Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. The scenery was amazing, and the music was very fun and interesting to listen to. I liked that it was a complete Afghani cast, and no one was American or Canadian. I liked that we got to watch the movie as a part of our project, but I think the movie was ruined after I read the book. I should have read them in the other order, because I would have thought the movie was great if I didn't know so much about the novel.

"For you, a thousand times over"

This quote has become one of the most significant and memorable quotes from the novel. Hassan originally says it to Amir at the beginning of the novel, to show his loyalty, love and dedication to Amir. At the end of the novel, Amir jumps into Hassan's spot and ask Sohrab if he can run the kite for him, and when Sohrab nods, he says to him,

"For you, a thousand times over." (391)

"I ran. A grown man running with a swarm of screaming children. But I didn't care. I ran with the wind blowing in my face, and a smile as wide as the Valley of Panjsher on my lips. I ran." (391)

Amir is trying to prove his love and devotion to Sohrab and wants Sohrab to accept him as his father. Amir is dying for his approval. This quote is so important because Hassan said this to Amir right before he ran his last kite ever, and was raped by Assef in the alleyway. Hassan did get the kite just like he told Amir he would.

Now Amir just wants to express his love to Hassan through Sohrab and almost use him as a way to see Hassan - Sohrab's looks, and actions remind Amir of Hassan.

Quote Importance

1. "I was learning that Baba had been a thief. And a thief of the worst kind, because the things he'd stolen had been sacred: from me the right to know I had a brother, from Hassan his identity, and from Ali his honour." (237)

It's ironic that Baba told Amir that theft was the only sin, and how awful it was for people to steal things, when Baba stole such important pieces of everyone's life. Baba isn't the bad guy, no one really is, but his decisions made such huge impacts on everyone's lives and couldn't have changed the outcomes to some of them. In a way, Baba was selfish. He could have chose to tell Hassan and Amir about their brotherhood, but he did not want to ruin the family's reputation or his own. I wish Amir and Hassan had grown up so differently. Amir would have treated Hassan so much better if they were brothers.

2. "My body was broken - just how badly I wouldn't find out until later - but I felt healed. Healed at last. I laughed." (303)

This quote occurs when Amir is being beaten by Assef when going to see the Taliban. After Amir abandons Hassan, he struggled with getting over his actions for the rest of his life. He tried ignoring him, running away, forgetting about it, but nothing ever worked. He still had nightmares, and he still had a guilty conscience. But once Assef starts beating Amir, he feels healed, like he's finally gotten rid of the skeletons he hid in the closet for so many years. He is finally getting what he ultimately deserved. He had even gone looking for punishment in the past, when he told Hassan to hit him with the pomegranates, because he felt there would be at leats some justice for what he did to Hassan. Only did Assef's beating begin to relieve Amir's mind though, and psychologically healed him, despite the pain.

3. "What if you get tired of me? What if your wife doesn't like me?" (340)

Sohrab says this to Amir, when Amir asks him to come live in America with him and his wife. It's extremely sad that a child worries about these types of things. Kids are supposed to be care free, and to run around and have fun before they are forced to grow up and start a life. Sohrab's childhood was taken from him. His parents are gone, he lived in an orphanage, he was raped by Assef, and is now trying to be adopted by Amir. Sohrab had experienced more trauma before he was a teenager, then some people do in an entire life time. No child should have to go through any of that, and no child should have to ask any guardian if they will get "tired" of them. It's sad that that's what's going through Sohrab's head.

The Cleft Lip Symbol

Hassan's cleft lip is one of his most memorable, vivid attributes and one of the most referred to features that Amir uses to describe him to the reader. The split in the top of Hassan's lip marks Hassan's true status in society. It acts as a symbol of poverty, which is one of the things that separates him from Amir, because Hassan and his family do not have the money to fix it. Instead, Baba, Hassan's biological father, chooses to pay for Hassan's surgery as a way of showing his secret fatherly love to him. When Amir runs into Assef, Assef beats him and leaves him with a similar scar as the one that Hassan had. Amir's identity becomes merged with Hassan's. Amir grows a backbone and learns to stand up for people he cares about, just like Hassan did for him, and he becomes a father figure to Sohrab. A little piece of Hassan will always be with Amir now, reminding him of his unforgettably, loyal brother.

The Great Chain of Being

Doing my Hamlet questions, I skimmed over the Great Chain of Being again, and realized that it could relate to the lives of Amir and Hassan and the pecking order within Kabul. Amir's family came from wealth, which meant that he and his father were looked at as one of the higher ranked families in Kabul. Whereas, on the opposite end of the spectrum, the Hazaras were looked at as the least important, and poorest of the rest of Kabul. Harazas were so hated and looked at as "gross" that they even had a specific city where most of them lived, Hazarajat.

Amir and Baba's family could be looked at as the "Gentry" or "Nobles" of Kabul, however Hassan and Ali were considered the "Serfs" of Kabul and were treated terribly because of it.

I hate that societies like these still exist in this world. I don't believe in communism, but I want everyone to be kind, and treat people equally. There should be no pecking order in society based on wealth or status. People should never be treated like less than human beings. I think that's why I fell in love with Hassan's character. He was the underdog from day one, and I've always been cheering for him.

Once the chain falls apart though, chaos ensues, like we've been learning in Hamlet. In The Kite Runner, the chain breaks because Hassan ends up being Baba's son, and that messes up the entire chain of status. How could a servant be such a well-known, respected man's son? The world of Amir crumbles and he is forced to clean everything back up by saving Hassan's son. The chain wasn't meant to be broken.

Amir & Soraya

Amir and Soraya's marriage is extraordinary to me. I had never seen the importance of Soraya in the book really, until they got married. She has proved herself, a loving, supportive wife to Amir and I have fallen in love with her character.

"Soraya dedicated herself to taking care of my father. She made his toast and tea in the morning, and helped him in and out of bed. She gave him his pain pills, washed his clothes, read him the international section of the newspaper every afternoon. She cooked his favourite dish...and took him out every day for a brief walk around the block." (181)

Soraya was never expected to do any of these things. She could have simply just looked out for her immediate family: herself and Amir, but because she is such a good person, she goes out of her way to help others as well.

"Soraya pulled me to her and the tears finally came." (185)

After Babe passed, Amir tried not to show his emotion and attempted to hide his feelings, but he knew that Soraya would never judge him for being upset. Amir is able to confide in her how he truly feels and can even cry in her arms for comfort.

"I remember you telling me that. How long will you be gone?" (201) Soraya asks Amir about going back to Kabul. This shows Soraya's understanding and support. She knows that Amir must go, and she doesn't even attempt to stop him, because she wants what's best for him. All she wants is for him to be safe though.

When Amir calls Soraya, and tells her that he wants to adopt Sohrab, he is forced to tell the entire story of Hassan in order to explain himself.

"Then I did what I hadn't done in fifteen years of marriage: I told my wife everything. Everything. I had pictured this moment so many time, dreaded it, but, as I spoke, I felt something lifting off my chest. I imagined Soraya had experienced something very similar the night of our khastegari, when she'd told me about her past." (342)

After explaining everything to her, Soraya said the most important thing she has ever said in the novel, which was,

"But I know this much: You have to bring him home. I want you too." (342)

This statement from Soraya proves how loyal, understanding, supportive and loving she is, and I love her for it. Not once did she ask Amir about why he acted the way he did, or why he never told her earlier. She never judge him, or made him feel ashamed because of it. She never used it against him afterwards for the sake of evil in a fight. She was gracious and she was sweet.

I wish every relationship could have elements of Amir's and Soraya's relationship to it. Part of it is their maturity, but part of it is their personality, and their forgivingness of flaws. I feel like in today's society that is a very uncommon trait to come by. Everyone is so critical of each other and it makes it difficult to find someone that will just love you for who you are as an individual, for all of your flaws. I'm glad that Soraya ended up making a positive change in Amir's life. She often put a smile on his face when he really needed one. And I'm glad she turned out to be so much more important than I remember her being. I know this story is fiction, but it still makes me happy thinking about how happy they are together.

Redemption

Even though I have already seen this movie, like I said before, the plotlines and outcome were of total surprise to me. I guess the movie didn't stand out as much for me a couple years ago as much as the novel does for me right now.

At the beginning of the novel, when Rahim Khan calls Amir and says, "There is a way to be good again," I had totally forgotten about. I had forgotten what Amir had to be good for, and why he had to redeem himself. Now that I am finished the book, and it has all come back to me, I'm trying to decide if Amir actually did redeem himself, and made himself "good again."

When Amir finally saved Sohrab from Assef's cruel hands, it made me incredibly angry that he was just going to bring him to a random family's home and leave him there. There were at least thirty pages of Amir and Sohrab talking about where he was going to go, and them staying in hotels waiting to go to John and Betty Caldwell's. That's not how Amir would become good again. Then when John and Betty turned out not being real people, it finally hit him. Rahim Khan planned this, and the fake couple, so that Amir would adopt Sohrab and bring him home like he should of a long time ago, (But Amir didn't know about Sohrab at that time). If the novel was going to end with Amir bringing Sohrab to a foster home, I was going to be heartbroken that that's how to be "good again."

After Amir's meeting with the immigration lawyer Omar, Omar says to him,

"I meant to tell you in there, about what you're trying to do? I think it's pretty great." (357)

It is pretty great, and that's exactly how it should have ended up. Rahim Khan didn't mean for Sohrab to go anywhere but with Amir.

The relationship between Amir and Sohrab confused me, but Amir tries so hard to make little Sohrab happy. Even when Sohrab doesn't speak to him, Amir keeps talking to him, stays in a positive frame of mind and never gets upset with him for not trying to accept Amir as his guardian.

"He held my glance, then looked away, his face set like stone. His eyes were still lightless, I saw, cacant, the way I had found them where I had pulled him out of the bathtub. I reached into the paper bag between my feet and took out the used copy of the Shahnamah I had bought at the Persian bookstore. I turned the cover so it faced Sohrab. 'I used to read this to your father when we were children. We'd go up the hill by our house and sit beneath the pomegranate...' I trailed off. Sohrab was looking through the window again. I forced a smile. 'Your father's favourite was the story of Rostam and Sohrab and that's how you got your name, I know you that.' I paused, feeling a bit like an idiot. 'Anyway, he said in his letter that it was your favourite too, so I thought I'd read you some of it. Would you like that?' (371)

Amir said to Sohrab,

'You know, I've done a lot of things I regret in my life,' I said, 'and maybe none more than going back on the promise I made you. But that will never happen again, and I am so profoundly sorry. I ask for your bakhshesh, your forgiveness. Can you do that? Can you forgive me? Can you believe me?" (374)

"As I waited for his reply, my mind flashed back to a winter day from long ago, Hassan and I sitting on the snow beneath a leafless sour cherry tree. I had played a cruel game with Hassan that day, toyed with him, asked him if he would chew dirt to prove his loyalty to me. Now I was the one under the miscroscope, the one you had to prove my worthiness. I deserved this." (374)

I think by the end of the novel, I was convinced that Amir had redeemed himself, and had freed himself from his guilt. Everything that he went through with Assef, and the convincing Sohrab to come to America, and the visa for Sohrab, proved that Amir would go to any lengths for Hassan. I'm really disappointed that Hassan never got to see Amir's sorrow and that Amir never got to apologize to Hassan. I also wish they both knew that they were brothers at the end and that they could live happily ever after, but I guess nothing really works like that. I just got so attached to Hassan and now it's so difficult to end the book knowing he never knew that they were brothers.

I'm glad Amir made the effort that he did with Sohrab. I guess that in itself was the happy ending.

Ignorance & Kindness

Growing up, I always got really upset when someone treated me badly, insulted me, bullied me and picked on me for no reason. I was a nice kid, I wasn't mean to people and I was a talented athlete. I never understood why people would pick on me in elementary school or insult me. For all I knew, why wouldn't people like me? I had a lot of likeable qualities. I was good at school, and I always offered to help people when they didn't understand. I played on every sports team - volleyball to rugby. I was kind, and had a lot of friends, and I treated me friends like gold. I sacrificed a lot for my friends to feel good and be happy.

There were a group of boys who made fun of my clothes and my red hair a lot. I was a free spirit, never conforming to what was stylish, but wore whatever I liked and that was all that mattered to me. But when people started noticing that I was different, and didn't wear the same things as them, didn't do my hair the same as them, and wasn't a "girly girl" like the other girls at school, they treated me differently. One day, they all yelled at me down the hall, "Faggot boots! Emily has such faggoty boots on haha!" My confidence in myself and the fact that I liked being different changed from that day on.

In The Kite Runner, there is a section of the novel that reminds me of my favourite quote ever.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Those boys probably didn't know that I came to their school as a new kid because my parents had just gotten divorced. But I probably didn't realize that Mike's dad had beaten him since he was 5 years old, and had self-esteem issues. In order to build himself up, he had to bring others down.

When Amir and Sohrab go to the American embassy, trying to get Sohrab to the United States and adopted by Amir, Amir encounters a man that just encourages him to give up. He says it's not possible and that he should just put him back in an orphanage.

Amir says to Mr. Andrews, "They ought to put someone in your chair who knows what it's like to want a child." (348)

As Amir walked out of his office, he said to Mr. Andrew's secretary, "Your boss could really use some manners." (349)

She says to Amir, "Poor Ray. He hasn't been the same since his daughter died. Suicide." (349)

Amir needs to remember that everyone is fighting a hard battle in their life, that others probably don't know about. It's terrible to think that Mr. Andrews' daughter committed suicide, and Amir probably felt awful. But the lesson of that quote is that no matter how people treat you, you need to understand that their is probably a personal reason for their actions, and you may not understand why they are acting like that, but you have to know that their life is probably very difficult. There are probably things that are just as upsetting in their life, as there are in yours. Everyone is fighting their own, hard battle, so be kind.

Check-in Three: Hunger & Poverty

This past summer, I travelled to Vietnam with other students from the board and Habitat for Humanity. We were going there to build two homes for two families in need. I had the greatest experience of my entire life there, and I wish there was a way to relive the entire thing again. I met so many amazing people, in Canada and in Vietnam. I made long lasting friendships with all of the people I went with. I also discovered a new side of me that I thought as a teenager I would never see. Humility. I came back more embarrassed than anything else, for the soul purpose of that I whine and complain about meaningless things. Things that to a Vietnamese person would be everyday chores that aren't even difficult. "Emily can you put the dishes away?" "Emily, can you bring me a glass of water?" "Em, I'd rather you not drive today, the roads are too icy." There are a couple things wrong with the fact that I was complaining. I'm lucky I even have dishes that need putting away. I'm lucky that we have clean water, in the comfort of my own home. I'm lucky that I have a car to drive around, and that I have opportunities to do activities with my friends, and be a kid. I came back a new person, with my head on straight, priorities in check, and a new respect for the Vietnamese people. They are hard-working, loving people, and should be role models to North America and even the rest of the world.

This trip to Asia gave me something else great as well. After years of agonizing over what I want to do with my life and what to take in university, (my dad dropped out after one year because he didn't know what he wanted to do) I found something I was passionate about. I wanted to learn more about these people, learn how hunger and poverty in the world could be ended, solved. I wanted everything to do with Global Development, the development and struggle of third-world/developing countries. This program doesn't only offer an excellent and interesting curriculum, but also the chance to take co-op trips to countries around the world to build. This is the perfect program for me.

Reading this novel has allowed me to go back to my amazing memories in Vietnam. One particular section of the novel especially reminds me of it. Amir and Farid are on their way to Farid's brother's home to stay the night. While they are there, Amir notices that they are very poor, and Farid says something to him about how he's not a true Afghan because he's never experiences poverty.

"Let me imagine, Agha sahib. You probably lived in a big two- or three-story house with a nice backyard that your gardener filled with flowers and fruit trees. All gated, of course. Your father drove an American car. You had servants, probably Hazaras. Your parents hired workers to decorate the house for the fancy mehmanis they threw, so their friends would come over to drink and boast about their travles to Europe or America." (244)

"That's the real Afghanistan, Agha sahib. That's the Agfhanistan I know. You? You've always been a tourist here, you just didn't know it." (245)

While they are at Wahid's home, his wife makes them dinner and says to Amir,

"I'm sorry we can't offer you meat. Only the Taliban can afford meat now." (250)

Amir thinks about this as he eats is meal,

"As I ate, I noticed Wahid's boys, all three thin with dirt-caked faces and short-cropped brown hair under their skullcaps, stealing furtive glances at my digital watch. The youngest whispered something in his brother's ear. The brother nodded, didn't take his eyes off of my watch." (251)

"I now understood why the boys hadn't shown any interest in the watch. They hadn't been staring at the watch at all. They'd been staring at my food." (254)

"I planted a fistful of crumpled money under a mattress." (254)

Reading quotes like these reminds me of my trip in a bunch of ways. I'm getting so excited to go to university in the fall just thinking about it. I never thought I'd ever find anything I genuinely wanted to study, until I went on that trip. I'm so glad that reading The Kite Runner has brought up such great memories. I realize those quotes are not cheerful, but they remind me of what cheerful people the Vietnamese were, despite what they had. I'm sure many of them were happier with their lives than I was with mine. I went to Vietnam a brat, spoiled, and with an attitude and came back with pride, respect, patience and hard work. I'm sure Amir is going through the same thing right now.

It's funny to me how polar opposite the world can be. Not just how North America and Asia are so different in economy, but the attitudes of the people that live there. It's amazing that I went to Vietnam to help someone else, and instead, I learned more than I could have ever imagined.

So thank you Kite Runner, for that amazing feeling that you brought back to me.

The Naive Amir & Oedipus

As we did a brief introduction to the ancient Greek tragedy, Oedipus The King, I really started to like the plot of it and went home and asked my stepdad all about it. I got him to explain to me what happens in the rest of the play that we're not studying in class because I was so anxious to know. What I ended up finding out was that Oedipus is not much different than Amir in a way.

Amir grows up his entire life, lacking the knowledge of who his real brother is, and is told that Hassan is just his servant.

Oedipus was born with a prophecy that told him he would end up killing his father and marrying his mother. This encouraged Oedipus to stay as far away as possible from them to ensure that that would never happen. One day, Oedipus came to a crossroads. Two men are in front of him and won't move to allow him to go the way he wants to go. Oedipus ends up killing them, and later realizes that the KIng was never his father, but one of those men was. He later realizes that Jocasta, his wife, is in fact his mother. Uhm, ew.

The shocking discoveries that both characters make are absolutely ridiculous, and in many ways, horrifying.

I wish we could read Oedipus the King in our class! I love the sounds of it.

Brotherly Bonds

Having seen this movie before, it's remotely embarrassing that I forgot that Amir finds out that Hassan was his brother. I don't know how I didn't remember that. It hit me just as hard as it did the first time. Unfortunately, I was reading that part in the cafeteria when I started crying. I'm sure there were many funny looks being given to me, but I was too embarrassed to look around and see who saw me.

Even though the reader doesn't know that Hassan and Amir were brothers until now, it definitely changes things in the story. The reader feels bad that Amir did that to his best friend and everything...but as soon as it becomes his brother, the guilt becomes a million times harder to deal with. I was upset and I have nothing to do with the problem.

"How could I have been so blind? The signs had been there for me to see all along; they came flying back at me now: Baba hiring Dr. Kumar to fix Hassan's harelip. Baba never missing Hassan's birthday. I remembered the day we were planting tulips when I had asked Baba if he'd ever consider getting new servants. Hassan's not going anywhere, he'd barked. He's staying right here with us, where he belongs. This is his home and we are his family. He had wept, wept, when Ali announced he and Hassan were leaving us." (237)

It takes Amir's actions to a whole new personal level, because now when I read it, I think about my brothers and how I would feel if this happened with them. Everyone with siblings can relate to the fact that one dominates another, just like Amir always dominated Hassan. I feel like that with my little brother Aidan. We went to Florida on the March Break and I just never gave him a chance. Every time he spoke, I got mad that he sounded like a know-it-all. Every time he tried to be funny, I wouldn't laugh. Every time he tried to join in on my jokes, I never let him. Thinking about it now, if I never got a chance to apologize for that, or if all of my actions were the reason he wasgone, I could never handle that.

Difficulty Blogging

I'm finding it difficult to come up with themes, symbols, and quote importance at this part of the novel. I don't think I understand the importance of Amir's marriage to Soraya yet, or the fact that Baba passed away. The beginning of the novel was so much easier for me to pick things out, and now that Amir has begun his new life, I've been stumped on what to blog about.

I hope that in the near future I am able to see what the purpose of this part of the novel is, because I am anxious to find out what happens. I have forgotten a lot of the movie when I watched it, so I can't wait to find the importance of Amir's adulthood.

Quote Importance

When I first started reading The Kite Runner, I found many things very interesting on the first page of the novel. The reader is introduced into a character's life that seems to be unfulfilled and full of regret and sorrow. One thing that I found particularly interesting, and thought that maybe it would be important later on, is the quote,

"That was a long time ago, but it's wrong what they say about the past, I've learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws it's way out." (1)

This is the quote that I used in my blog title, hoping that it would be somewhat useful in finding a thesis and various themes. I have finally come to realize that it is a huge part of the novel, and I couldn't be any happier that I chose to use it.

The quote is used as foreshadowing for the reader that there will be something that Amir wants to move on from, escape from, bury away. We are now aware that what Amir said at the beginning of the novel is right. No matter where you go, what you do, and who you try to cut out of your life, the past will come and find you and those people will never really be forgotten.

Amir and Baba move to California,

"For me, America was a place to bury my memories."

Amir thinks that burying his memories will make all of his guilt, anger and regret will just disappear because he moved to another country, never to see anyone from Kabul again. That's not how the past works though. The past claws it's way out.

In the previous post I mentioned how Amir and Baba go out for dinner and celebrate Amir's graduation. Baba mentions that he wishes Hassan could have joined them that night, and Amir's heart breaks at the sound of Hassan's name. Amir thinks that Hassan is forgotten and never to be spoken of again, but he is terribly wrong...

Recurring Guilt

Among the many things that Baba and Amir came to America for; new and better life, opportunities, freedom, there were ultimately two things that came out of their move to the United States.

"For me, America was a place to bury my memories. For Baba, a place to mourn his." (136)

Unfortunately for Amir, the past is still coming up from time to time, and even though he wanted to forget about his wrong-doings and move on with his life, the guilt from his past still haunts him. On the night of his graduation, Baba said something to Amir that had made everything worse.

"Then Baba rolled his head toward me. 'I wish Hassan had been with us today,' he said. A pair of steel hands closed around my windpipe at the sound of Hassan's name. I rolled down the window. Waited for the steel hands to loosen their grip." (141)

"Kabul had become a city of ghosts for me. A city of harelipped ghosts." (144)

The theme of guilt still has not ended, which makes me wonder when it will, or if it will last a lifetime, like Atonement. Amir's actions are still eating me up inside. I'm so frustrated that he never saved Hassan from Assef and his friends.

Check-In Two: Guilt

I'm through one third of the book now, and I couldn't be more engaged and excited to read more. I've seen the movie and thought that it was fantastic, but it's true what they say about the book - it really is so much better. I had forgotten certain elements and details that may or may not have been in the movie, but that's what makes the book so much better; you know every detail, every thought, and every feeling of the protagonist. It includes small, seemingly pointless (but we know better) details of Amir's life, whether it be events, thoughts, feelings or actions. The reader is emotionally attached to the characters in the book, more so than in the movie interpretation.

I feel like I have a bond with Hassan because I can relate to him in so many ways, and naturally the reader feels compassion and sympathy for him. I, like Hassan, have gone through abandonment and betrayal and know how terrible he must feel. Although I was never in a servant position like he is, I have had friends turn their backs on me when I needed them the most, just like how Hassan needed Amir in that alleyway. Friends have picked sides during fights, left me hanging when I needed someone to talk to, and in some cases, attempted to turn the whole world against me. In some ways, I feel like I'm still searching for that one best friend that every kid/youth has growing up that they remember forever. Hassan is close to my heart for that reason and I have to keep reading because I forget what happens to him in this part of the novel when I watched the movie. It's terrible that Hassan has to live with that memory for the rest of his life.

On the other hand, I have recognized a couple quests emerging within the novel so far. One being Amir's quest for his father's ultimate love, affection and approval. Amir knows that his father will never get over the fact that Ali and Hassan left with no explanation and has a hunch that it was Amir's fault. Throughout the novel there are constant references to Amir's frustration and sadness that his father doesn't love him the way he thinks he's supposed to (used in previous posts). Even as an 18-year-old travelling to Pakistan with his father, Amir feels like he lets his father down.

"Baba grumbled something under his breath. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, but suddenly I was salivating, the back of my throat tasting bile. I turned around, lifted the tarpaulin, and threw up over the side of the moving truck. Behind me, Baba was apologizing to the other passengers. As if car sickness was a crime. As if you weren't supposed to get sick when you were eighteen." (117)

Amir constantly feels not good enough for his father and feels like whatever he does is a disappointment to him. Except for when Amir won the kite-fighting tournament. The praise and attention would never be the same.

Another quest taking place is one similar to Atonement. I've found that Amir and Briony are very similar characters and have the same conflicts within each text/movie. They each made a bad decision that they thought would only effect themselves, but ended up effecting everyone around them.

Briony told a lie that she didn't have to tell. She didn't have evidence - never saw who the "rapist" was, but in the end, she got the wrong man in jail.

Amir could have stopped the rape of his best friend, but instead chose to watch and run away.

Both of these decisions had considerable effects on each of the people betrayed - Robbie and Hassan.

In Atonement, Briony didn't realize that Robbie would be put behind bars and it would be all her fault that her sister Cecelia lost her true love to a lie.

In The Kite Runner, Amir didn't realize that it would be so hard to live with Hassan after he watched him get raped by the boys in the alleyway. Ali and Hassan end up leaving Baba and Amir's home because it is so hard for Hassan to live there anymore; his embarrassment, shame, disappointment in Amir, and discomfort within the home. This effects everyone in the house, even the boys parents, Ali and Baba.

Now, Briony and Amir both have to live with what they've done and attempt to move on with their lives, despite their terrible mistakes as children.

In Atonement, Briony goes to school to become a nurse. The symbolism of Briony going into nursing is that she is trying to make other lives right, because she knows that she ruined other ones.

On the other hand, in The Kite Runner, Amir tries to run away from his problems in the beginning. He does not begin to try to cope with his guilt. Instead, he pushes it aside and hopes that it will never escape the back of his mind again.

And in the end, when the protagonists are ready to confront their guilt, it appears that it is too late.

Briony wanted to apologize to Cecelia and Robbie, but when she went to their home she found out that they had died.

Amir has the same painful discovery when he realizes that Hassan died during the Revolution in Afghanistan, and that he never did get the chance to leave the country to safety; but maybe he could of if Ali and Hassan stilled lived with them, like they should have.

These works have many similarities. It's interesting comparing them and the same "confronting guilt" theme that they both have.

My overall impression of the book has been great. To be honest there haven't been a lot of books that I haven't liked reading in school, the teachers seem to always pick great ones for us to read (except The Chrysalids). As I have said before, I've enjoyed the relationship that the reader gets to make with the characters because of the vivd details in the book. I've really liked the story-line and plot so far as well, although I've only really read Amir and Hassan's childhood and the beginning of the Russians coming into Afghanistan. Amir and Hassan as children was great to read about, because it brought up old memories of my childhood as well. I couldn't be any happier with my book choice.

Listening to: "The Cave" by Mumford & Sons, "We Used To Wait" by Arcade Fire

Worldly Location

Five years later, the Russians have invaded Afghanistan and many residents have begun to leave the country as discretely as possible. Many refugees have decided to relocate to Peshawar, Pakistan. As you can see, the journey that Baba and Amir make from Kabul to Peshawar is a long one, especially inside of a fuel tank. Kabul is more northwest of Peshawar, which is on the right of the map, more Southeastern.

The End of The Beginning

I've come to the end of Amir and Hassan's childhood, where Ali and Hassan leave Kabul to go to Hazarajat. The last forty pages I've read continuously and could not stop, and I even cried reading some of them. What Amir has done is so terrible, but it doesn't just stop there. Amir continues his ruthless ways by outcasting Hassan, refusing to play with him, speaking to him rudely and purposely avoiding him. The one thing that broke my heart was at Amir's birthday party when Assef showed up with his parents and a gift for Amir. His fake manners and charming attitude disgusted me and I found myself emotionally torn up. Assef tries to seem like a well-mannered gentleman to Baba and Amir sees right through it. Amir's emotions seem so real and so upsetting that I felt like I was Amir. At the party, Hassan is supposed to be serving drinks to all the guests. Amir sees Hassan serving drinks to Assef and his friends and feels so ashamed. There are a couple quotes that stand out to me around this time in the novel.

"Everywhere I turned, I saw signs of his loyalty, his goddamn unwavering loyalty." (94)

"Hassan's not going anywhere. He's staying right here with us, where he belongs." (95)

"My stomach was turning at the sight of my father bonding with Assef." (102)

"In one of those brief bursts of light, I saw something I'll never forget: hassan serving drinks to Assef and Wali from a silver platter. The light winked out, a hiss and a crackle, then another flicker of orange light: Assef grinning, kneading Hassan in the chest with a knuckle." (106)

"Either way, this much had become clear: One of us had to go." (108)

"Hassan knew. He knew I'd seen everything in that alley, that I'd stood there and done nothing. he knew I had betrayed him and yet he was rescuing me once again..." (111)

"I watched Baba's car pull away from the curb, taking with it the person whose first spoken word had been my name." (115)

Each of these quotes had a significant meaning to me as I read this last part of Amir and Hassan's childhood. It makes me sick how Amir is acting, my stomach turned as I read what he had done to Hassan. Breaks my heart.

Book Cover Importance

I've finally figured out what the significance of the book cover is. I've come to the part in the novel where Amir and Hassan win the kite-fighting tournament, and Hassan goes to run the blue kite. It just so happens that the blue kite belongs to Assef. Hassan gets the blue kite, but gets chased into an alleyway where Assef and his friends beat and rape Hassan. Amir doesn't step in to stand up for him, he just peaks around the corner of the alleyway. The book cover is Amir peaking around that corner, but not helping Hassan, even though Hassan went through all of that just to bring the kite back to Amir. This part of the book was approximately twenty pages, and I just couldn't put it down. It's so terrible and heart-breaking. This book cover symbolizes the event that will change Amir and Hassan's lives forever.